Thursday 2 October 2014

I have failed BANKRUPTCY !!!



So a while back I decided to try to get a friend out of debt detailed here. LINK


My friend Ali was is in deep debt to the tune of $50,000 , It was actually $80,000 as there was another $30,000 credit line his father took out for him as well which he did not tell me about. Even worse his house is appraised for lower than the mortgage amount owed ($10,000-25,000)

Shortly after that post my friend Ali kind of fell off the map, he did not return my calls or emails until just this past week. He lives across the other side of Canada and I had no way of getting a hold of him.

He called me last week to tell me the bad news. He was in the hospital for over a month. He was battling severe depression and was also diagnosed with a severe bi-polar condition. I don't know many of the details leading up to it as he is not wanting to delve in to details on the matter.



So within the couple of months things kind of fell apart for him. Most of the renters moved out of his home, he has not gone back to work and started losing the customers on his landscaping job. He has fallen behind on his mortgage. His credit cards and accounts are maxed out so he can not afford to live so he has moved back home to his parents. He was on the verge of bankruptcy then and now he is there.

He said the pressure of everything had come down on him. The stress of his debt. The stress with dealing with tenants and home repairs plus the stress with his business where customers were taking advantage of him and not paying their bills with some accounts in arrears from last year.

Perhaps I pushed him too hard for a debt plan and that was the tipping point since he was pretty much one paycheck away from bankruptcy. I feel somewhat responsible for his breaking point but the house of cards was bound to fall if he did not get help. I feel I have failed in getting him back on his feet. I will use this experience as a learning point on how to handle these types of situations in the future. Perhaps smaller steps would of been the better course of action than a complete overhaul. Sometimes I am out of touch with others feelings and I base decisions on how I would handle stress and the situation.


I just want Ali to be happy and live a secure and less stressful life.

The only advice I have for him now.

Is to work a regular 9-5 job. Hopefully its one he can enjoy while he goes through 1-2 years of bankruptcy. He can live at his parents till he is back on his feet and then rent a cheap room or place. Then when he wants to start something on his own he could do something to supplement his income but still keep his day job. I feel he needs a secure year round paycheck and not get ahead of himself again. He really wants to start his own business but I really don't think he is mentally capable of doing that right now.

Basically it boils down to whats the point of anything if you are not happy. I just want my good friend Ali who will do anything for a friend of his to be happy. I want him to find a secure job he enjoys that is stress free, find a woman and start a family. All things he desperately needs.



In other news

The market is taking a beating lol. Things not looking good for a green month. Will have my dividend report in a day or two and will also have an ETF report for grandma Olga. I will try and be more active blogging this month as well.

19 comments:

  1. Thats a bummer Asset Grinder. Sometimes when someone is in a tailspin it is just too difficult to recover. Don't be too hard on yourself!

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    1. I hate seeing things that can be avoided like this happen. Hate to see a good friend in pain and suffer like this. I have been stressing over the last few days about this.

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  2. Your story really drives home the need to control debt and not let it get too far ahead of you. I know, nothing venture nothing gained, but I have read and seen too many of these stories where debt basically breaks down an individual to the point of hospitalization. While I invest in stocks and understand risk, I am very, very wary of getting into debt, whether for a car purchase, home purchase or even credit card debt. I know, margin, mortgages and other borrowing can really enhance total returns but it's stories like above that tell me to just do what I do and sleep well at night. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. I know when a certain investment keeps me up at nights then it is time to pullback a bit. Too bad many people dont even follow their own warning signs. Hopefully it will be a large life lesson for him.

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  3. It's always hard to see a friend struggling financially. Did your friend actually declare bankruptcy? Or is he trying to pay back his debts? Best of luck to him.

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    1. He is in the process of declaring as it takes a lil bit. Creditors have been harassing him this past month. He could work through it in my opinion without going bankrupt but mentally he is not in the right place to tackle and chip away at it.

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  4. I know that has to be tough on him. And you since you feel partly responsible. Unfortunately this is a brutally honest example of what can happen if you have debts and essentially live paycheck to paycheck. The really bad part is that it sounds like he was at a point where he needed to make drastic changes so you were kind of left with no other option. I hope the best for your friend and hopefully he can recover mentally sooner rather than later.

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    1. Yah he is very fragile right now. I think he may have thought or tried to take his own life as he has been going through all this. Best for him just to live at home rent and responsibility free and work a regular 9-5 and get his life and happiness back on track.

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  5. AG,

    Man that's a tough situation for both you and him. I have many friends at work who are constantly at the edge of a financial whirlpool, just like your friend. I get discouraged when I know they can make relatively small changes in their lives, but choose not to. Stay strong and hopefully he can recover soon!

    MDP

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    1. Thanks for the kind words. I know this is not my financial problem but this issue is really agitating me. I visited him last Spring and his family was so kind to me it made an impression and it helped me through my own hard time. I will give him whatever support he needs.

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  6. Stress kills AG, I wish your friend the best. It all tends to build on itself. A couple times I've had to walk away and simplify my life. There are about 10 more things I want to be doing right now, but I just don't have the time/energy to get it done. It's like that balance you and I were talk about a few weeks ago. You damn sure know when you lose balance
    -Bryan

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    1. I have been a bit stressed lately. I can tell by me playin silly video games on my phone. Thats the way I cope, guess its better than drinking! lol. Time to get back to my to do list for the week that is piling up!

      Wish u all the best buddy!

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  7. Wow, that really sucks - for both of you. Hopefully he can get through this tough time. I know a few people who need to get their finances in order but nothing like that. Wishing him all the best in the future

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  8. A-G,

    Sorry to hear about that. I've seen people who can't control themselves up close and personal. It's always a shame. I know it feels like we can do more to help, but ultimately people have to help themselves. No way around it. Be the change you want to see and hopefully they'll open their eyes. :)

    Thanks for sharing. I hope he turns it all around.

    Best regards!

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    1. thanks for the kind words. Hopefully he pulls through and on the road to be happy. He is at the age where he is at a cross roads in life. He wants to do so much at all times but he has to take it slow and enjoy the journey.

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  9. AG,

    I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I can imagina how debt and financial troubles can bring someone down to the point they stop functioning. Hopefully he gets back on his feet soon! At least he'll be able to relax at his parents' house and overthink what went wrong before setting out again.

    Also, looking forward to your dividend and ETF reports!

    Have a great weekend,
    NMW

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  10. Poor guy. Hope he gets better in time.

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  11. AG,

    It's a shitty situation for sure; I know this post is almost a year old, but I figured I'd comment regardless. Having worked in a law office dealing specifically with bankruptcies, I believe you took the best course of action. You laid out a detailed plan to empower HIM to change. Now he's faced with the consequences of his decisions, and that will also enable him to change. If you had given him a loan or offer bankruptcy as a choice at the onset, he would not have learned from it. These words will do nothing to alleviate the emotional trauma both of you are likely experiencing at this point, but you should know that this experience will allow him to grow.

    Abe

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